Wednesday, September 24, 2008

the gafsha diaries

Remember the LHC ? The suppossed end of the world which got delayed til Oct. 21st ?? Remember how i was pissed theyr making me wait an month?? WELL.... IT BROKE .. AHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAH

IT FUCKING BROKE ! and its gona take around two months to fix it. So Amethyst there you go thats an extra month to write that book, try and make use of it. If ur still stuck deciding on the topic i bet id make a gr8 topic =P 

--

I think our cat is suffering from some sorta multiple personality disorder i mean one moment she thinks shes ina circus jumping thru the railings from one side of the stairs to the other side. Mind you she BARELY fits thru the railings so to think she can jump thru one in mid flight and the consequences being a 7 feet drop plus crashing into the railings makes me think she's either nuts or has simply descended from a long line of circus freaks. 

Then u got her trying to eat grass adrii il3eed greeb bes we're not that desperate for a sheep! 

Then u have her usual self, 5AWAFA ! :p 

Then u have her suicidal self , but i think .. that.. may .. have .. been .. my.. fault.. 

ok ok welllll see she loves to sit on the ledge ib the stairs which is say 20 feet high ( u do knw im just pulling random figures out of my ass bes lets assume its a 20 feet drop )  Ilmuhim so im ASSUMING she was sleeping there oo it was late at night o can thalma. Fa mi7sin walks in o his hands were full so he accidently slams the door cuz his hands were full he couldnt stop the door from slamming he goes on to walk up the stairs faj2a wila ashof gafshoo il5ibla falling min foog bounces off the rail and falls sideways on the floor. @@ ana ihni fearing the worst thought ra7at cuz she didnt move, so i go to see sh9ar feeha faj2a she gets up and runs to the kitchen. Li7agt-ha wila im9a6la ashkara tawha ga3da min ilnom 

so my guess is il5ibla kanat nayma fog  fa when i slammed the door she woke up and 6ab3an malgoofa she wants to go see who slammed the door fa she decided to walk and find out forgetting shes on a ledge and therefore due to her in ability to walk on air she fell =P Shes fine thou she got up walked it off for a few seconds and went back to sleep. 





Sunday, September 21, 2008

google reader help

Apparently google reader hates me and refuses to let a certain temporarily undisclosed blogger ( you can unveil urself to them whenever u wish thou i recommend we keep em guessing for a while just out of pure meaness and boredness ) ok enuf of that so yea google reader hates me and wont accept my blog it keeps adding another blog instead of mine 

so to all you google reader users out there, sadly since im not one of u therefore im oblivious to why google hates me, if u can kindly shed some light on the matter and maybe try to add me and tell me what u get. Thanks ! 

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Stupid Ppl from Europe

Remember my stupid ppl chronicles all the way from mr I AM SUSHI too the rest of them. Well turns out even Europe decided to send a few of its stupid ppl my way this summer. I dunno why i always meet these ppl. Im starting to believe a  friend of mine who said, i bring the stupid out of ppl -_- Heres wat happened: 

1) 

me and my sisters went on a trip to london, on our way to the plane the woman was checking our passports o my passport is sorta worn out. OK really worn out so worn out the only thing thats left on the front cover is the word WAIT , so it looks like this 

soo ilwoman takes it o tgalib fee o itgalib fee looking for something, il3ada they either look for the page with ur pic or a visa 9a7? tadroon shino is2latni -_- 

"Where is the first page of ur passport?" ana 9ara7atan tana7t ihni ma3iraft shlown ajawib o ma3tiqid anlam =p ya3ni she did say first page o adri ina jawazi shway mamsoo7 bes ya3ni if its not the side she first checked im pretty sure theres only one other place it can be and thats the other side of the passport -_- 

too her credit she found it by herself then me and my sis had a laugh at her :p wala low ana min her coworkers amsik-ha 3alaiha sina :P

2) 

Wi9alna landan al7een ok, o its just me and my sisters. ana masik all their passports o mind you the youngest of my sisters is only FOUR years younger than me. I go up to the passport control counter o i hand her our passports . Faj2a wila the woman asks: 

"So are you the dad?" 

@@ ishayfatni ??? ya3ni 7ata low mitzawij o ana 3umri 10 mayamdeeni i get children as old as my sisters 

LA o kint 7alq wakt-ha ba3ad ! :P fa ma3indaha 3ithr 5awati msikoha 3alai 3ad :p ma9idgaw samatni oboohum kanaw yabooni i follow suit and cover the trips expenses :P 

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

The End of The World

How come i never heard about the end of the world being today.. or wait its actually been delayed to Oct 21st was it. DAMNIT we have to wait another two months *sigh* 

No do0da hasn't officially lost it.. yet. BUT he just caught sniff of the whole LHC hype going on and its fun watching ppl go crazy over something that and i quote, had the total physical destruction of the planet on the list of direct consequences of getting things wrong. dare i say SWEET =p 

LHC ( Large Hardon Collider ) is the world's largest and highest-energy particle accelerator complex. Yup wiki is useful. In other words they're sorta trying to replicate the big bang and create mass. Basically another chance for men in white to try and play god. 

So if you think they really are gonna botch it up and kill us all heres some good advice from gizmodo after it was announced the actual test won't happen for another two months : you can think about it as another extension to your life. In other words: You have two more months to find Uma Thurman/Brad Pitt/Richard Simmons and 1) convince her/him/it that the world is going to end and 2) you are the best lay there is to have before that happens. 

Good luck ppl and now to go find a fancy LHC countdown woohoo ! 

and if ur as clueless as me THATS why google looks like this :





UPDATE


you cant deny this sites coolness =p 


Saturday, September 06, 2008

I.R.do0da

For my blogs 100th post i decided to give u a small taste of my 2 fav rant topics and topped it off with my quirky taste in music.

If you have trouble making out what is being said the text is below. 




So to commemorate my 100th post i decided to revert to my shitty flash skills and give u a short cartoon about "a couple of things do0da loves to hate".

If you've been around for my earlier posts you would know there's nothing do0da hates more than MORNINGS ! to quote Jim Davis "Good morning is a contradiction of terms"

Dont you just hate waking up and finding the stupid sun glaring at you from the window, as if laughing at you telling ur sleep times over. And no matter how much i glare at it with disgust and hate hoping a lost black cloud will come and devour its sunlight blessing me with a dark gloomy raining morning, a morning which begs you to stay tucked in an sleep for an extra couple of hours. im slaped with a strong dose of reality that today like most other days im stuck with yet another sunny morning.

So why would one want to associate himself with mornings? I dunno but some asshole thought it'd be funny to create the perfect morning companion. The EVILEST of creations ever made by man. Its evilness surpassing the worst biological weapon ever made. THE FUCKING ALARM CLOCK ! ITS SOLE PURPOSE IS TO DEPRIVE YOU OF UR SLEEP! AND ITs been magically created to only wake u up at the best parts of ur dream. Thus i wish its creater long hours of pain and misery!

But again im slapped with yet another strong dose of reality that these things are actually useful blah blah blah

it is such hate which drove me to blog my rants and thanks to all that ive now been round for 2 yrs managing 100 posts without being dragged to the looney bin. FOr the sake of ur sanity il try not to stick around for much more.

Thursday, September 04, 2008

meh..

Remember the my head vid post? Well c'mon its only 2 posts back :P You knw whats weird out of all the 19 or so comments only ONE person actually comment on the actual content itself :P

I mean i knw my voice is not ur average kuwaiti 22yr old voice bes u need a weird voice to match the weird personality and i even had to make sure the post was semi audible yet only balqees managed to make ne thing out of the post. Anyways since then i finished the book. It was good. not amazing but good. Then i saw the movie starring john Cusack and Jack Black. Its weird watching a movie adaptation of a book 5 mins after finishing the book. Everything was fresh in my head since i finished the book inside a week ( i knw its a short book that can be finished ina day bes i like to take my time with books i like ) and what was really weird was the fact they decided to say exact phrases from the book so its like wow amazing but the order in which they came in the movie was all wrong. Like ashya2 min the ending was used in the beginning of the movie but it fits in so for those who dont knw its nothing big bes 7asait ina the movement was killish mala da3i lana why fix it if it aint broke ? and well as usual in this case the book was way better than the movie :p bes it was still a good movie. Anyways heres the paragraph i narrated in the post

Some of my favorite songs: 'Only Love Can Break Your Heart' by Neil Young; 'Last Night I
Dreamed That Somebody Loved Me' by the Smiths; 'Call Me' by Aretha Franklin; 'I Don't Want to Talk About It' by anybody. And then there's 'Love Hurts' and 'When Love Breaks Down' and 'How Can You Mend a Broken Heart' and 'The Speed of the Sound of Loneliness' and 'She's Gone' and 'I Just Don't Know What to Do with Myself 'and . . . some of these songs I have listened to around once a week, on average (three hundred times in the first month, every now and again thereafter), since I was sixteen or nineteen or twenty-one. How can that not leave you bruised somewhere? How can that not turn you into the sort of person liable to break into little bits when your first love goes all wrong? What came first, the music or the misery? Did I listen to music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to music? Do all those records turn you into a melancholy person?
People worry about kids playing with guns, and teenagers watching violent videos; we are
scared that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids
listening to thousands, literally thousands, of songs about broken hearts and rejection and pain and misery and loss. The unhappiest people I know, romantically speaking, are the ones who like pop music the most; and I don't know whether pop music has caused this unhappiness, but I do know that they've been listening to the sad songs longer than they've been living the unhappy lives.

Saturday, August 30, 2008

The power of a good zafa

So im back home. Im glad to be bak but cant say i dont miss swiss. Oh well til next year i guess. Ive been sick for a while now o a sore throat is not what u want ib hal 7ar. baqa o moot o im dyyyying for a cold drink and ice cream but no that will fuck me over. Ive learnt my lesson last time i gave in to such cravings with a sore throat i ended up with a fever o wakt-ha can 3indi midterms :P

fa al7een awal ma 7asait ina im getting better ri7t shirabtli shay barid :P o it got worse all over again. bes kaa 3igalt shway al7een. shway :p its nearly gone.

was in dbai acouple of days ago to finish some papers o WHY THE FUCK do ppl only do shit when u ziff them over there. WALA mabi azifkum bes ya3ni next time i think i may just start it screaming. Remember the device i bought which was broken and i gave it to them to fix ? hal 7achi back in APRIL so i dont expect u to remember :P ilmuhim; i gave them the device 3 days after i bought it. 5arban they said we'll fix it in 7-10 days. 7 days later i call theyr like la2 its 7 - 10 working days which is around 2 weeks. 2 weeks later its back, they say its fixed. its not. i give it to them asking for a replacement they say theyll try but they need the box. I fight with them they say ok no need box we'll try to replace it but its not our decision we'll see what we can do. how long? 7-10 days ok. I travel to kuwait. 30 days later device still not back. I go 3ala boon bazifhum on my way to them they call they say its fixed. I go, it is fixed :D ... but they fucked up the battery so now it doesnt charge !! bes im already in kuwait. So now several months later im finally back in dbai im fuming and i go to them i ask for the manager zafaita galy i cant guarntee u a replacement its not my decision chan agola la u dont understand o zafaita again gali ok batcher i9ub7 ilcall u gitla ok. Next day he calls hes like 3indi replacement ready for u batcher yo9al. IB YOUM WA7D !! SHIFTAW IL ZAFA SHITSAWI ! 7ata low izafa sounds shway like a kid bes i had a cold o ga3d azifa :P ilmushkila im no longer in dbai my friends gona pick it up and mail it to me and that replacement better be a fucking working one or the zafa wont be on the fone it will be in person.

What i dont get is why the fuck do they wait til theyr told off? why cant they just be nice o help us out min ilbidaya? Oh well its fun ziffing them especially when u knw ur in the right.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

This is my head: A video post

This is not my "special" post bes i figured since its my blogs bday it atleast deserves something different a bit more creative. So heres a vid of what its like in my head. Hope u like it, and do mind the flurry of accents it was uncontrolable today.


Thursday, August 07, 2008

Munch Magic

do0da has a new hero. MUNCH ! 

me sis asked me to check munch out from 2 pints of lager and a packet of crisps and i have to say hes my new hero/idol! 

heres a clip to show u why that is: 







and if u liked that try this 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VxxGHTC2w34&feature=related

Sunday, August 03, 2008

to iftha7 or not


Ok so a couple of days back we were at Kempinski in geneve for dinner. If you guys havent been its like arab-ville this time of month wat with the carnival 'n' all. Most of the guys there were there for the women. Fa i was with friends and surrounded by horny guys i ask him. 

Mi7sin: How long do u think it would take for a guy to try and raqimni via bluethooth low i put a stupid girly name ? 

Na9er: digeega ! 

Mi7sin: im like alright lets give it a try; what should i call myself? 

Na9er: dunno, how bout warda ?

Mi7sin: Alright warda it is and its on! 

- 4 mins later - 

Mi7sin: dude dazli raqam swaisri , o raqam s3oodi o CHAYIK 3ALA 9OORTA ! LOLLL !! 

*Na9er rofls *


So do you wana see the pic ? Im thinkin its ok to post i mean he did it give it to me that means he doesnt mind giving it to you ? :P shraykum ?

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oo and madri shfeeni 9irt i drop words and misplace them. Tawa i read Gunshy as Gushy and im like wtf is gushy chan astaw3ib wait where'd that N come from and a couple of days back this happened. 

Mi7sin: forums are filled with stupid ppl and bes thing is what they stay is there forever

L: you mean what they say*

Mi7sin: yea that, the t was lost, it ran away from best and ended up with stay, dont ask me how


seriously thou its not my fault my letters wander :r 


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ok the pic uve all been waitin for ..

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Wednesday, July 30, 2008

I'm a leg without a sock

So an update on the last post. I went to the dentist. Turns out do0da's bitchin bout how shit all things related to doctors in dbai isnt just BS but totally tru and should include shitty dentists too. Aparently the root canal i did in dbai was well so fucked up it took the dentist a couple of mins for her to come up with the conclusion that i need to change my dentist. 6ab3an unlike her i choose to keep the chatter to a minimum during the operation cause well sitting 2 hrs with my mouth hanging open is not something id volunteraily prolong.

So just a quick list of of docs who screwed do0da over in dbai:

* Dentist : turns out she skipped a whole canal, and did a lousy job with the other two. Did i mention her anesthetic was pretty much non exisitent not to mention the extra safety measures this dentist used that my lovely dbai dentist just seemed to ignore.

* Doc 1: i dislocated a finger. I didnt need an xray to notice its dislocated u just had to take a look at how the joint suddenly was able to bend in ways that would stun mr. fantastic himself. Somehow he thought wrapping it for 2 days only would heal it. Its been 2 yrs. Its still swollen. It took a year for it to regain full functionality thou. Pain still comes and goes thou. ( no i will not have it checked out cuz i already did 1 yr ago and docs said i should just wait out it out so im waitin thou 2 yrs sounds a bit too long )

*Surgeon 1: Cut me open, gave me wrong and wat couldve been extremely painful advice only for me to over hear him saying he had no clue what he just did and awal mara ishof ily shafa. Next day the male nurse tells me ive been misdiagnosed but luckily the remedy was the same so im safe.

Thou they werent always THAT bad. I mean i did get a knee in the face and they were able to take care of the cut pretty well ( i mean ffs if u cant take care of that id be scared ) oo they did deal with my fractured finger its actually normal.

Lesson here is: if your gna get sick do it bara dbai.

incase u were wondering no i dunno how i somehow managed to end up in the hospital once every semester during my 4 years there. Even our unis doc got tired of seeing my face at her office.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Bump

This is post will prolly be the most useless one ive ever done =P i have an idea to write a special post for my 100th post which is coming up in a bit ( 7 posts after this) o me blogs 2nd bday is coming up inside a month. So i figured if i can somehow squeeze 6 posts and get them to happen at the same time its worth this "speacial post" i have in mind. What special post u ask? malkum shu'3l wait :P i dont think il be able to finish it in time bes i figured if i tell u im doing it then im under pressure to finish it riight ? i would be working harder on it bes currently i have a tooth ache thats really making working on it near impossible.

btw i currently stumbled upon this new band and they rock so heres my bit to help them out. Song might need a listen or two to sink in bes when it does its gr8 =]


Saturday, July 19, 2008

Its no secret..

Im proud to be a chicken nugget ! :r

p.s. The Quest by Bryn Christopher is pwetty gooooood !

Friday, July 11, 2008

do0da's a Meanie =P

I've lost count of how many times ive been called evil or mean :p i enjoy it. Its quite alot of fun if ur good at it. Just the other day i was sitting on me lappy blogging when i noticed my glass of mint is empty( the syrup + water ) its extremely cold and perfect after my morning jog ( yes 12pm is still morning :p ) so the thing is empty and i want another glass bes im to lazy/tired to go the fridge and pour me another and the maid is b3eeda so mi7sin gets an idea =d


*mi7sin looks at the room hes in o his 2 younger sisters are there ones watchin tv o ones on her laptop*

Mi7sin: Dalal ta3alay

Dalal: Shino ?

Mi7sin: Baraweech shay

Dalal: ok ka la7tha

*Dalal puts her laptop down and comes to mi7sin to look at the shay*

*Mi7sin grins and shows her his empty glass =] *

Mi7sin: 9ibeely gla9 plz =]



tadaaaa :P and i got cham 7mars thrown at me and a refilled glass of mint :P

The king of Wordplay : Gnarls Barkley


Yesterday do0da was at a Gnarls Barkley and Travis concert. My only regret is that Travis went second, cause after the show Gnarls Barkley put on, they really just set the bar waay to high for Travis. But Travis were good none the less.

My love for Gnarls Barkley started not so long ago lama 6i7t 3ala a letter written by them b4 then i only knew 2 songs Going On + Crazy bes this letter drove me to go check out all his other songs and well the guy is awesome ! Just a heads up the letter is borderline corny bes i love the last line.

"You are the best. You are the worst. You are average. Your love is a part of you. You try to give it away because you cannot bear its radiance, but you cannot separate it from yourself. To understand your fellow humans, you must understand why you give them your love. You must realize that hate is but a crime-ridden subdivision of love. You must reclaim what you never lost. You must take leave of your sanity, and yet be fully responsible for your actions." -Gnarls Barkley, in a letter to the legendary rock critic Lester Bangs



I love it when u hear a song live in a concert and u suddenly like it alot more then b4; Ya3ni madri b4 my 3 fav songs were A little better, Going On, and Crazy. Bes now i cant help but add Blind Marry, and Charity Case. A little better is suppossedly takmilat Crazy or something along those lines. I was planning on quoting alot of his lyrics in this post bes his lyrics are only good in the context of the whole song so thats not gona work bes if i were to pick one line that really stands out for me it would be from Going on:

Anyone that needs what they want,
and doesn't want what they need,
I want nothing to do with.




His music is soooo dance-able too; Our town is a ghost town past around 11-12 fa by 1am kilish maku a7ad :p So the whole walk back home i had Gnarls Barkley playing as i danced back instead of just walking back :p This was their debut in the Montreux Jazz festival lets hope its not their last.

Monday, July 07, 2008

feeling directionless

[.. This was intended as my "comeback" post bes it was trumped by my need to knw a5awat kana + ina o I STILL WANT TO KNW :r so if u knw do tell me =( ..]


I’ll rise up, wise up, sell out, say I will not lie to you…

Another blogging disappearance I know, for once its not due to lack of time or topics bil3ax the topics are plenty and the time even more now that I am finally unemployed *big grin*

Bes.. aah there is always a bes =] .. most of those topics are topics id rather not post don’t u just hate it when the thing you wana share and talk about the most is the one thing you cant really talk about?

Plus im not a big fan of negative topics the worlds got enuf of those and mine aren’t that bad its just a lot of confusion. They say u should take the road less travelled, so I will, bes thing is, like most unknown roads, ur prolly facing terrible odds and u’ll need lady luck on ur side, and by the looks of thing she just might be bes for how long?

Go figure the thing thats most valued to me is the source of all my worries.

For now I just want back in your head,

There an ambiguous post, a feeble attempt to explain a long disappearance but more than anything proof u were better off waiting for me cause I can untangle and then you’ll get normal posts =]

*all italics and title are lyrics from various tegan and sara songs *

Thursday, July 03, 2008

The infamous forgotten families

Well my summer's started a few days after my last post, hence the lengthy disappearance. Bes my summer is only just about to officially start. Left kuwait yesterday and now to bask in the lovely European rain storms aaah. Day 1 in the rain watch and i c a few grey clouds roaming around but way to few of them to cause a real scene. But weather forecast has it as "A steady, occasionally heavy, rain early, then remaining cloudy with a few showers" they also predict a sunny day tomorrow and then rain showers for the rest of the week. Ah i love the randomly bipolar weather in this country =]

B4 i stray to far away and forget the topic, ya naas SO2AL ?! ina o ana o lakina o layta o la3ala a5awat kana 9a7 :p ? mino a5awat Ina ?

suddenly its fun to say: min ila fi 3an 3ala ilkaf wilam wilbaa2 i feel its like a war chant :P

yup i suck at arabic :P but u'll be surprised how much u can get away with sticking to my golden rule of na7u: When in doubt, maf3ool bihi !

cant promise il stick around but i think i will :p now to go see what u guys are up to.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Monday

So one day b4 my last final and b4 im unofficially graduated what does do0da find himself doing ? :P he finds himself reminiscing of all me fav childhood masra7iyat and o there were many :P 
and god bless youtube for having most of them yup i couldnt find a couple and i couldnt remember the name of a couple :P 

so first off to mention the ones i couldnt find, kint abi ashof clip min flona wishanakil bes ma ligait shay :P i just remember big heads and LOTS of color 

o and we need more clips of jasoom wimshary c'mon the indian dance scene they have up was hardly one of the best in the show i thought the teacher scene wouldve been the first i find but o well 

for those who dont knw what im on about :P you missed out on some great plays :P for those who do i also checked out 


oo and while trying to get all the links fog in place i accidently found a shanakil clip :P so nvm that knew may9eer that wasnt on i guess theres still hope for more jasoom o imshary clips :P

These clips aren't enuf thou :P ne of you guys knw a good place where i can get some of these masra7iyat :P i knw my sis has a couple :P something to watch now that unemployment is round the corner =d 


EDIT :


Monday, April 21, 2008

where is do0da =| ?

9ij ina kan 3indi projects o exam o ive been busy lately bes the main reason behind me not coming and posting or commenting is cause ana im7aribkum :P ee na3am im7aribkum laish ma7ad gali sundried tomato pesto is so good ? dont u knw i love sundried tomatoes ?? oo fee mina pesto ! oo its used on STEAK ba3aaad .. bes ma7ibkum :r

ne ways i just finished the most important presentation + report ive ever had to do in uni so im happy and i should should be able to find some time to blog normally since mi7sin has finals and u all knw the best time to blog is during finals ! =]

ooo and I GOT A NEW BABY ! [archos 605wifi] but its broken and its pissing me off .. -_- why do they have to sell fucked up gadgets that dont work ya3ni i got it and i returned it 3ala 6ool theyr like we'll check it o if tis unfixable we'll replace it bes they still have to make me wait and best thing bout it is i can blog on it =] and its replacing my ipod which is dying :( oo but my uni decided to give me a new one for being mr smarty pants mi7sins reaction to that .. DANG they have low standards :P they awarded me for my "dedication" low adri they encouraged ditching that much i woulda missed more classes, think about adawim 7i9a o tark they gave me a 8GB nano ... low madawim at all i might have landed an ipod classic =O

oo well finals permitting i dont think il get a chance at testing that theory ..

7 days till do0da is unemployed !! im drooling just thinking of all the sleeep ima be able to get. Bes 7asafa moo winter wila chan i hibernated =/ bes yala ma3alaih NEXT STOP RETIREMENT ! mwhahahahah

Sunday, March 30, 2008

end of the dot com era

My lease on www.do0da.com has ended and i cant remember the site i used to get it and im quite lazy to go get another one ( this was a gift from no3ik so if ur going to her site shes facing the same thing i dont think she knws maybe i should get round to telling her :P )

I saw this speech not to long ago and i must say i loved it. I agree and do most of wats in it and i believe everyone needs to hear/read the sunscreen speech at least once in his life.

Heres the vid o if you dont feel like streaming it you can read it below.






Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97:

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room. Read the directions, even if you don't follow them. Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.